I remember running away and hiding from my Dad when he trimmed his beard off when I was very young. Elli didn't do that though, she took a little bit longer to recognize me but thought that the trim was quite exciting and told all her friends to touch my face.
I was hoping that Wendy's reaction would be much more heartening.
"Oh my God."
"You have no upper lip at all!"
Ouch? I mean, clearly there is more to my lower lip than upper but I gotta say that reaction isn't doing much for my self esteem. Not that this sort of thing is new, she does like to talk about how grotesquely enormous my nose is too.
She spent the whole evening staring at me and wandering around me giving me extra space saying things like:
"I can't believe your voice is coming out of somebody else's face."
"Is it cheating if I sleep with you even though I feel entirely sure the person I am sleeping with isn't you?"
"I feel like 'you with a beard' is going to show up and beat you up for kissing me."
So much for gratitude for me sacrificing my beard on the altar of matrimonial bliss; first thing that happens is she starts cheating on me with me. I'm going to have to get that other guy somehow.