Friday, July 8, 2011

Digging a hole

Today Hobo and I visited the beach.  Much like all other beaches in the world this one was in dire need of a hole.  The hole that the beach needed was a gigantic one, surrounded by earthworks, walls, towers and other defenses against the coming onslaught from the dire enemy Tide.  Tide is relentless, ruthless and has never been defeated and yet is utterly predictable with no variation in strategy.  Tide relies on brute strength and endless patience.  Though it has never been defeated it is a certainty that man must create bastions to battle against the Tide despite the outcome never being in question.

When constructing a fortress for this purpose one must dig a hole, choosing a spot that Tide will assault soon but not immediately - time is needed to prepare for the onslaught.  The hole first must go straight down with the dirt being placed carefully between the hole and the water.  Eventually the digger will find that the bottom of the hole is damp and then that it begins to fill with water.  Despair not mighty builder! The water in the bottom of the hole will allow one to perform the mighty feat of hollowing out the ground underneath one's own feet with remarkable ease.  Continue to excavate the mud and watch as the bottom of the hole grows larger and larger.

Disaster strikes!  One side of the hole has collapsed, taking the ground on which the fortifications were being constructed into the ever widening maw of the hole.  The builder must redouble their efforts, dragging the fallen earth out of the hole and continuing to excavate.  Further down the builder must go, and no matter how much earth and mud must be moved one must never falter.

Of course eventually the waves crash over the mighty defenses created to defend the hole from the implacable Tide and the water will wash into the hole, filling the once magnificent structure with mud and utterly destroying any sign of the builder's work.

If you don't know what I am talking about and you don't have the insatiable desire to dig such a hole every time you go to the beach then you have my condolences.  There is little better advice that I can give on life than to go to the beach and dig yourself a gigantic damn hole.  It is a wonderful thing indeed, though you must be willing to endure the withering glances of those who have grown up too much, too fast.

1 comment:

  1. It must be one of those hard wired evolutionary survival things. And the older you get the bigger the shovel. I just love uncle Gary's excavator. That is the ultimate in digging holes. Maybe Zack's nick name is right after all....Digger