Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Everything sucks for everyone!

Patriarchy sucks.  There is an awful lot of information there about how it sucks for women, and few people are willing to debate that at this point.  (Obviously there are some, and they are terrible people.)

But patriarchy sucks for men too.  I read a great article today interviewing a number of trans men who had lived experience with being treated as a man and as a woman and they had lots to say about the negatives of being treated as a man.  They talked about people refusing to speak to them, about their emotions being dismissed, and about the lack of support and empathy they got from others.

Of course they acknowledged that being treated as a man came with the benefits of being listened to and being promoted, among others, but it was clear that both sides had their penalties and benefits.

Overall I would take the 'treated as a man' package, as would most people I expect.  It generally is better, which is kind of the point of feminism.  But we would be remiss if we ignored the bad stuff that happens to men as a result of toxic masculinity.  Repression of emotions, lack of non erotic physical touch, and vulnerability being seen as a failure make men feel shitty, and then it cascades onto the people they interact with.

I think this is a critical part of feminism that a lot of people ignore.  Feminism isn't just about helping women - it helps make a better world for everyone, whether they be man, woman, nonbinary, or literally any gender at all.

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