Last night I sent Wendy a text while she was out with some friends. A single word text, in fact. "Nipples" I sent it and waited, knowing that her phone would whistle and she would check it within a minute or two. When no answer came back I was elated - I was fairly sure that this meant I had achieved my goal. When she got home the following conversation took place:
Wendy: So why did you send me that text earlier tonight?
Me: Well, I figured that you would see it and you would laugh.
Wendy: Okay, well, that happened...
Me: And then I figured you would show it to your friends and they would laugh too. Did that happen?
Wendy: Well, yes.
Me: Victory! <Fist pump>
Maybe I am just weird. Scratch that, I am weird. In particular though I love doing little experiments like that to see if I can predict people's behaviour accurately. She could have had any number of reactions but I was sure it would be 1. Laugh. 2. Friends ask about laugh. 3. Show friends. 4. Friends laugh. The lack of reply was the key - there was nothing to say.
You can send your wife a text saying "Nipples" and it is science. I was testing a hypothesis! Making the world a better place! Expanding the sum of human knowledge!