Friday, August 3, 2012


Heist movies are generally pretty ridiculous but the absolute king of the heap of implausibility is the laser room.  You know the one, the giant room with a single pillar containing a bazillion dollar diamond that is a mass of interconnecting laser beams.  The thieves inevitably have some outrageous gymnast that can maneuver through the web of beams that are carefully arranged to be difficult, but not impossible, for a human body to fit through.  Apparently the people who design vaults are incapable of building a wall of lasers 5 cm apart or just filling the room with temperature sensors and cameras.

Or, you know, putting the gigantic diamond someplace *safe*.

However, there is one good thing that has come from the sad trope of crisscrossing lasers and it isn't a butt shot of Catherine Zeta-Jones nor a trio of black leather clad hotties needlessly tumbling through a field of beams.  There is a new themepark game (new to me, anyway) which mimics this game and allows people to try to maneuver through a hallway containing a field of crosscrossing laser beams as quickly as possible.  It is stone cold awesome; they need to make this into an Olympic event!

I went with Elli's class today to a kid's indoor play zone and got to try it myself.  I am distinctly better than a child who is confused and afraid of the game but it turns out I get my clock cleaned by a 5 year old who understands the concept and wants to win.  Being small is really good in this sport it turns out and although I had a blast it was clear that in this game you do not bet on the big men.  For some reason it reminds me of playing Predator/Prey back in university - I feel a huge rush when I begin to play and I get the feeling that winning is a matter of moxie as well as physical preparation and strategy.

Unfortunately aside from building my own laser tunnel there isn't any reasonable way for me to play this game a lot.  At $2 per attempt and less than a minute per attempt I can't see the game being one that you can practice in the kid's zone since it would cost more than $100 an hour.  Someday I will own a house and then I will build some crazy awesome stuff, you wait and see!

First photo from:

Second photo from:

1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to see that house and try the games. Maybe you can design something for our basement...