Big talks

It is hard to figure out how people will respond to my posts.  Sometimes I say things that seem like they will be controversial and nary a peep emerges, and sometimes I talk about some obscure philosophical point that I figure nobody will care about and it will turn into dozens of pages of impassioned argument.

Yesterday I posted about me cutting my uncle out of my life and all the years of terrible behaviour on his part that lead to that choice, and I wasn't at all sure what would come of it.  I could have had a bunch of people telling me that I need to give him more chances or time, denial of my memories, or even a direct, furious response.  I had no idea.

But what I got was a lot of comments and direct messages supporting my decision, as well as some people who have gone through similar things relating their stories.  I heard from a bunch of relatives and friends I speak to rarely telling me that they have my back, and that they were glad I did what I did.  No negative comments appeared at all.

This blog is sometimes just me posting for comedy, sometimes me trying to be educational, and sometimes me using it as therapy.  I hate secrets, and I will not be pinned into silence, keeping secrets to avoid people abandoning me.  If they can't accept what and who I am, then I have no use for them being around.  They like some other guy, someone who isn't me, and that isn't the sort of community I want.  They don't have to *agree* with me on everything, but I have no interest in misleading anyone important to me.

Yesterday was about therapy.  Putting the things I have been feeling for years down on digital paper gets them out of my gut, stops them from twisting me up, and gives me a feeling of tranquility.

I feel better for having done it.

But the responses I got also showed me that we need to do more of this as a culture.  There are people out there who desperately want to do what I did, but cannot for various reasons.  Those reasons are often relatives or 'friends' who will cut them out completely for refusing to put up with abuse, or talking about the effects it has.  Burying the shitty behaviour and refusing to address it is unfortunately really common, and it just ends up with abusive people who get even more awful because everyone collaborates to protect them.

I am going to struggle with the consequences of my choice at times, of that I have no doubt.  But after reading all the messages, both public and private, I am even more sure it was the right choice.  Pushing back has to start somewhere, and I cannot ask anyone else to do it if I won't.