Fight for her love

I just finished watching an episode of Bob's Burgers and it pissed me off.  The basic plot is that Tina is attracted to both Josh and Jimmy.  Jimmy and Josh both are attracted to her.  Tina asks Jimmy to the dance, Jimmy delays because he wants to play it coy.  Josh asks Tina, Tina accepts, and Jimmy realizes that he was an idiot for playing games and losing out.

All this is fine.  It is the standard stupid stuff people do in relationships, especially at the age of 13.

Then while Tina and Josh are at the dance Jimmy shows up and demands a dance off to determine who wins Tina.

/barf

I hate this trope so much.  Everyone just falls into line, accepting that Tina will be contracted to be in a relationship with the boy who wins the contest.

She doesn't get to just be with the boy who treated her well.  She doesn't even get to choose.  She is an object to be fought over, a trophy awarded for talent.

Now Tina actually likes the idea of the two boys dancing for her and is all hot and bothered about it, but that basic premise sidling in there, accepted so casually, pisses me off.

I never particularly liked a lot of the standard shitty sexist tropes in romantic comedies but the years I have spent being polyamorous have really ended any tolerance that I once possessed.  It isn't that I find the idea of only being attracted to one person bizarre - lots of people do that, and it is fine.  I am going to continue being attracted to and involved with way more people than is good for me, but you go ahead and only do one at a time. 

But what is becoming less sensible by the year is the idea that you would even want to forbid a partner from having other partners.  I am slowly drifting away from the mainstream here, to a point where I look at people desperately needing their partners to be exclusive and it puzzles me.  Why?  What, exactly, is the point?

I get that it is convenient, of course.  Having an open relationship does tend to cause other people to freak out.  But actually having a desperate need for it?  Weird.  Which is all kinds of bizarre because I spent most of my life so far doing just that, but it is getting so distant now that I can hardly remember what that Sky was thinking.

The episode ends with Tina trying to convince both of the boys that they ought to try some sort of threeway relationship.  This part actually goes just the way I wish it would - both of them politely decline as they aren't interested in that and wander away without anger or bitterness.  People asking for what they want, and getting useful, honest replies, and everybody respecting each other's wishes?  In a romantic comedy situation?  What?

So while the end of the show was okay, that trope of 'boys compete over who gets to win the girl' needs to die in a fire.  We can do better.  What should have happened is that when Jimmy shows up and demands a dance off, Tina should say "Um, no.  I went to the dance with Josh because he wasn't playing crappy games with me.  I date who I want, and if you want to date me try acting like the sort of person I would want to date.  Bye."