Wise man

Over the past half year I have ended up playing the role of polyamory guru to a few people.  It wasn't a thing I actively sought out but I ended up in the position of having people find out about my relationships and decide to seek me out for advice.  I admit I quite like the role, and I was inordinately pleased when this happened.  For one it shows a certain amount of respect for me, which feels good, and also I just like giving advice, particularly on this topic.

People who start out from a monogamous situation and then try polyamory usually end up in all kinds of messes.  There are well known lists of things that they do wrong quite consistently, and I had some hopes that I could alleviate that.  I have read a lot and had my own experiences over the past 5 years so I should be able to give lots of good advice - surely my students will experience no difficulties whatsoever, right?

Right?

Wrong.

Obviously no matter how good the advice is everyone's relationships are a mess.  That is just the way of the world, and my advice is certainly not good enough to prevent the inevitable.  Fact is, the only reasonable outcome I could expect is that my advice could shave off a few rough edges.

I think I managed that, at least. 

But I definitely enjoyed the process of talking people through difficult experiences and changes to their mindsets.  I liked answering questions and asking my own questions to get people to figure out the things they wanted and to understand their own unquestioned assumptions.

Nudging people towards revelation is fun, even when I know it can only be a nudge and they have to get there on their own, making all their own mistakes, as well as finding their way to their own triumphs.

Doing this has made me think that maybe I should find a way to do this consistently, maybe even professionally.  It is something I do well, something I take pride in, and something I feel is useful to the world.  I don't need people to follow my advice, as I know that generally they will ask for advice and then do whatever they want anyway.  I just want the chance to make them think about the paths that they might otherwise not even notice.

Now all I need is a mountaintop to sit on and a long beard to stroke as I consider questions from worthy seekers of knowledge.  That, or a website, either way.