Run, a teenager!

Pinkie Pie is 13 as of this week.  I know what this means - she will become withdrawn, sullen, and bitter, believing her parents to be insufferable idiots.  She will begin dressing in ways that offend my sensibilities, consorting with individuals I am suspicious of, and rebelling against the social order I work so hard to defend.

That is the usual story, at any rate.

I don't think that is going to happen, especially the social order part.  The consorting with individuals I am suspicious of is probably true, because I naturally have high standards for the people she hangs out with.  However, her friends are vastly more progressive and aware than my friends were at her age, so on many fronts she is doing far better than I did when I was young.

They are still a bunch of clueless teenagers, of course.

I am biased though, to be happy about these times.  Pinkie Pie was struggling mightily for a couple of years with serious mental health challenges, and things have gotten dramatically better in the last few months.  She is back at school, and although it isn't perfect, it is basically working.  She is learning things, has a variety of friends and activities, and her teachers say that she is improving rapidly.  There is still a long way to go yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

This is in stark contrast to a year ago where things were a total disaster.  We were trying homeschooling, but she wasn't able to cope with it at all.  Pinkie Pie's life was a mess, and my life was a mess as a consequence.  There is still much work to do these days, but this year it feels like a lot of work to do whereas last year it felt like drowning with no hope of rescue.  That is a big improvement, no doubt at all about that.

I am not dancing in the streets quite yet.  There are still many years to go, many tragedies to cope with, many challenges to navigate.  But I can see that the dark times of recent past are receding, and better times are coming.  These experiences do make me laugh at other parents at times though, when they complain about their struggles with their children and the challenges they have had to navigate.  The contrast between various children's difficulties is so stark.

One parent I talked to recently was bemoaning parent teacher interview night, because his kid gets straight As and every interview is "Well, the kid is great, so I have nothing to say".  The parent was grumpy about having to attend interviews when they were so pointless.  I was tempted to say that I was so glad that my kid is still alive, and straight Ds would be a huge improvement over last year, so how about shut the hell up, but managed to keep that to myself.

But I try not to get too uptight about this, because when I visit Sick Kids Hospital, I am reminded that my kid being alive isn't a given, and others have more struggles than I do.  Plus Pinkie Pie is kind, generous, and hopeful.  I would rather parent her than a straight A student who is an asshole, and there are plenty of those.  I suppose by that measure I am doing pretty well... though that doesn't stop me from wishing I had it all.