My place

I wonder what it would be like to have a place all my own.  It isn't really an experience I have had, to be honest, and the idea of it has been tickling my brain for awhile now.  I lived with my parents when I was young and they gave me reasonable latitude for organizing my own space.  On my ceiling they painted a giant bird modeled vaguely after thunderbirds I have seen in Native art just because I wanted it, for example.  In the end they were the ones calling the shots though, and I got to express preferences, but I didn't get to vote.

In university I lived with other people in many configurations.  I rented rooms from strangers, shared houses with friends, and lived in residence.  In none of those cases did I really have control over my space.  Residence came the closest, I guess, but I still just had a single room and there were a great many rules about what exactly I could do with it.

After university I moved in with Wendy, and have been living with her ever since.  Technically I have an equal vote in how we organize our space, but in practical terms she makes the great majority of those decisions.  She cares more than I do about each individual thing, so we just do her thing by default.

Lately I have been looking around our place thinking about what I would do if I didn't have to consult anybody at all.  How would I organize it?  What would I get rid of?  Some things wouldn't change, of course, in terms of organization, but I would throw out or give away most of our possessions.  The place would be empty, clean, and austere. 

It would be glorious.

This has me thinking about alternate arrangements for partnerships.  There are people, for example, that live in a different city than their spouse.  Not because of some temporary problem, but by design.  They like the long term partnership and they like their own space and quiet.

I sometimes consider how it would work to arrange such a thing.  It would ideally be a lot closer range than different cities though - that is farther than I want!  In theory you could have separate areas within a single dwelling, but I think that wouldn't work for Wendy and I.  Her stuff would encroach and she would want to fill all my wonderful empty space with her possessions.  Maybe if we just had adjacent condo, so we could spend all the time we wanted together but at the end of the day I retreat to my room, in my place, that doesn't have any stuff in it aside from the most bare bones requirements.

I also wonder what I would be like if I had had that single living experience.  Would I see the world differently if I had rented my own apartment for a year or two after university, and eventually moved in with her?  I imagine what it would be like, but maybe it is a silly fantasy, and I wouldn't actually end up with things the way I want them.  Perhaps I would end up with piles of takeout boxes stacked in the corner because there is no one else to want them cleaned up!  I haven't tried it, so I don't know for sure.

Maybe someday I will be rich and can just buy my own place so I can test this out.  Until then, financial pressure, if nothing else, will have to keep this an unknown.