Sunday, January 1, 2017

Drop out and get big

2016 shall be remembered as the year I dropped out and got big.

I started off the year pretty badly.  My kickstarter for the game I made, Camp Nightmare, failed.  I didn't try as hard as I could to make it go, though honestly I don't think I stood much of a chance in any case.  Whether I should have just not done it at all or sucked it up and thrown a few months of time at a project I wasn't wholeheartedly behind isn't clear to me.  It wasn't great.

It was a good learning experience though.  I confirmed that entrepreneurship isn't for me.  I don't want to be a small scale game publisher.  I want to make games on my own time and I want to make them for me.  If I am going to make money I will do it directly, rather than trying to blend game design and work.  That conclusion satisfies me.

Camp Nightmare ended up being published on a website where people can just order it.  I got 100 copies made myself, and the reception was good.  I have a few left, but mostly they are gone, and this is a fine place to be as far as I am concerned.  I don't care about being widely distributed - I made a thing, (though Nathan Nun, the artist, also put in a ton of time, love, and effort, to be sure) and that thing is out there now.  This pleases me.

I started working out in 2016 and it stuck.  Partly it was to get ready for my Tough Mudder event in the summer but it was also about vanity and health.  If I am honest, vanity is probably top of the list.  I added on 12 pounds of muscle, increased my strength by roughly 80%, and I look better in ways that I enjoy, whether or not anyone else does.  My cardio is vastly better too, though I don't have that result measured the same way.  I am definitely fitter, stronger, and healthier than I have ever been before.  I intend to continue lifting weights, and I have a new goal to work towards - 200/300.  I want to add on another 15 pounds of muscle to get my weight up to 200 pounds and be able to bench 300 pounds.  I don't know that this will happen in 2017 because progress is slow at this point but that is where I am aiming myself.

Running the Tough Mudder was a blast.  I ran 14 kms solid but eventually my knee succumbed to an injury from earlier in the year and I had to walk the last 2 km.  That felt fine.  I pushed hard, had an opportunity to reinjure myself, declined to do that, and I feel good about it.  Doing stuff with my brother is a thing I really enjoy.  It cost a ton of money though and I am not sure that investing that amount of money in Tough Mudders is really the thing I want.  If I found a group of people I liked in Toronto doing it I would be totally on board to run it again, but I don't want to travel as far as I did in 2016.  Maybe I can convince my brother to come down here to do it this year....?

I went to the World Boardgaming Championships and came home with a couple second place trophies.  I found new games I love, met a ton of fantastic people, enjoyed a holiday away from kid and responsibility, and I want to go again.  I have not been playing that many board games since but I don't think I actually care that much about placing well in the coming year.  I want to go, to play, to be in the atmosphere of WBC, and trophies will come or they will not.

I started dating four different people.  Three of those ended in a breakup, but none was angry or bad, and I am on good terms with everyone and have a couple of friendships.  It makes me happy to be able to maintain the good bits of a relationship even when romance isn't going to work.  The fourth person is the Flautist, and she makes me all kinds of happy.  I can just say whatever is in my brain and it works.  I don't have to hide or be constantly on my guard, I can be with her and just exist.  This is looking like it will go a long time, and I definitely look forward to that.  The fact that it is a long distance relationship is not ideal, but it is so worth it.

Parenting is getting easier, generally.  Pinkie Pie has struggled this year in some ways, but as she gets older I have more and more fun with her.  I love watching her reach out and be more independent and I enjoy having challenging conversations with her.  I look forward to teaching her many things and watching her make leaps to new ideas.

Wendy and I are the same, really.  We have different sorts of adventures we want to go on in life, but there is a lot of overlap, and honestly being apart at times makes me appreciate her more when she is around.  My life is good, and she is a big part of that.  We chose well.

I got awesome tattoos!

They make me feel happy and I smile every time I look at my shoulders in the mirror.  I have plans for many more, though cost is a huge factor.  Hard to say.

2016 has gotten consistently better as it went onward, and I am in a great place in my life right now.  Here's hoping 2017 continues the trend.

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