Awhile ago I talked about how Wendy and I had plans for what we would do if the other one of us died. We both had a particular person in mind we would hit up and no hesitation about the idea of marrying somebody else. Both of us, I think, are really far more comfortable in a relationship than alone. Physical touch being a big thing for both of us is likely a part of this; I need the closeness that a relationships provides to get all of my feelin' loved time. It should go without saying that both of us supported the other person moving on in whatever way they needed to.
Today I was talking with some folks who felt exactly the opposite. I was actually stunned at the vehemence with which they denied any impulse to remarry if their current relationship broke down. The attitude seemed to be that dating itself was a torturous thing to go through and that single life was the way to go. This sort of thing wouldn't surprise me from people who were single for life, say, or people in the middle of a divorce, but it kind of took me aback from a group of folks who make family so much a focus of their lives. I expected them to be of the mind that marriage is the place to be and they really weren't.
It makes me wonder if there is something obvious that causes that feeling. Clearly it could be based on the particulars of the relationships we are involved in, the sorts of people we find attractive, or our love languages as I mentioned above. We had all been married for comparable amounts of time so it isn't the age of the relationship that is the key. There are very few things that I could do single that I can't do now so for me a relationship feels like pure win; I wish I could fathom exactly why others see the whole thing so differently.