Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Robot cars are for porn

People have lots of ridiculous ideas about self driving cars.  The biggest issue I think is that everyone thinks they are a great and safe driver and worries that the car will be worse.  It is quite clear that self driving cars are not only much safer than people on average but also much safer than nearly everyone.  Sometimes ridiculous articles like this crop up with worries about what will happen when the car has to decide in a moment of catastrophic failure if it kills the driver or five other people.  It is as if a random human panicking and doing something arbitrary is preferable somehow to methodical calculation of loss.

No matter what you think of them though it is absolutely crystal clear that self driving cars are not only going to be a thing that is on the road - they will be ubiquitous.  I submit for evidence The Internet.  The internet *can* be used for intellectual debate, sharing information, and commerce but we all know that the internet is for porn.  When all those commuters who spend an hour each way in their cars every morning realize that they can instead just sit back, turn on the autopilot, and cruise over to pornhub there is no doubt in my mind that the self driving car will become a necessity in the public mind.

Even now we hear on news reports now and again that some terrible car accident occurred and the people involved in it were half naked.  We *know* that people are masturbating or having sex in their cars on the highways while attempting to drive at 100 kph so it takes little imagination to think of what they will do when they aren't putting their lives at serious risk.  Come 2025 I suspect that emergency crews will have many fewer car crashes to rush to but in the few times that they do end up out there they will be consistently pulling people out of their cars who have their pants around their ankles.

Bet on this one people.  The new commuting standard will be whacking off in the car in the way to work while watching porn on a mobile device; it is only a matter of time.  If you flag flaps towards exhibitionism and you carpool you can even get multiple people involved too.  All perfectly safely since the autopilot will be blissfully unconcerned by any of these antics.  The future is now!

2 comments:

  1. Your robot carpool sounds fun. You should market it at the Oasis.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your robot carpool sounds fun. You should market it at the Oasis.

    ReplyDelete