Chick-Fil-A

Imagine this:  You are a person interested in opening a franchise of a successful chicken based fast food chain called Chick-Fil-A.  You look at expected return on investment, traffic patterns, risk factors, and all kinds of other things.  Then you discover that your new business venture is getting extremely wrapped up in gay politics and that a new Chick-Fil-A franchise is likely to be a battleground between religious zealots and pro gay rights activists.  You might call this scenario ridiculous... but sadly it is true.  The owner of Chick-Fil-A is all about doing things the Bible way so the chain isn't even open on Sundays.  This is good for both the employees *and* the customers though probably bad for the bottom line.

Dan Cathy, the big man in charge of Chick-Fil-A, thinks that gay marriage is wrong, wrong, wrong.  He also thinks that this is something he should make very public and so there has been a lot of nasty back and forth between the bigots and the rest of the populace culminating in a call for all gay bashers to eat at Chick-Fil-A.  We can't let rich guys who want to dictate everyone else's lifestyle starve, can we?  Apparently this was quite successful and Chick-Fil-A locations all over the US South were full to the brim with people wanting to celebrate their hate with processed chicken.  I am channeling Homer Simpson for a moment "Mmmmmmm, hate filled processed chicken.... nomnomnom."

Thankfully a different Dan got in gear and decided to crank up his naming power once again.  In 2003 Dan Savage managed to attach the name Santorum to  "The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the product of anal sex." in retribution for Rick Santorum's loony gay bashing.  Now Savage is trying to make the same sort of connection with Chick-Fil-A and "Anal penetration of a man by a woman using a strap on dildo."  Previously dubbed pegging this activity has been renamed Chick-Fil-A by the guru of sex on the internet and now we get to see if Savage can make the same sort of trouble successfully again.

I wonder how this will affect franchise sales.  I feel like it might actually be a good thing if you are establishing a Chick-Fil-A in the Bible belt in a small town with 8 churches but it seems like a disaster if you want to sell to anyone else!  I certainly wouldn't want to invest in a franchise where the company owner seemed interested in stirring up controversy and competing demonstrations.  If a Chick-Fil-A opened up near me I know I would have a grand time talking to people about how empty I felt and how much I wanted to go down to Chick-Fil-A to get filled right up... it is probably a good thing for everyone involved that they aren't going to do that.