tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1086764876629036045.post301750423833468854..comments2023-10-06T06:29:02.689-04:00Comments on A Bright Cape: In personSkyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723733406348223879noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1086764876629036045.post-78150357526312282142016-12-06T17:16:16.341-05:002016-12-06T17:16:16.341-05:00Argh! Blogger ate my comment. I was going to add t...Argh! Blogger ate my comment. I was going to add that there's another advantage of starting the conversation via text:<br /><br /> You can plant the idea in someone's mind without going to the extreme of dumping them. That can help people feel as if they're part of a process not the recipient of a unilateral decision (even if it *is*).<br /><br /> Case in point: today I asked about someone's availability, and got the reply "I don't think this is working, I'll call you tonight". If I'd been told that in person I might have burst into tears and waited anxiously for that call. Since I was told via text, I was able to compose myself sufficiently to point out "this" wasn't the only way to "do" a relationship between us. I'm not sure I'd have had the presence of mind to do it in person, since I'm a Crier. (I cry at weddings, funerals, movies, when I'm stressed, when I'm laughing really hard. Everywhere but baseball, because we all know, "There's no crying in baseball!")<br /><br />By telling me via text, that person opened the door for a discussion of what "this" could and needs to be. Our exchange was brief but fruitful. I pointed out that I didn't need XYZ thing (which I took from the context to be the thing which wasn't working), that we could both be fine with ABC, and *mportantly* that it didn't need to be discussed right away. <br /><br />We decided on a hiatus from direct contact (might still "see" each other on social media feeds, I suppose). We'll communicate in a couple of weeks, and take it from there. That will give us both time to sort out what "this" is, was, and shall be :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13266842684090450415noreply@blogger.com